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[For Newt and Noah]
There's more ink on my hands than on the piece of paper in front of me. There are crumpled balls of paper next to it and some pushed to one side of the desk, all of those covered in scribbles and smudges. This shouldn't be so hard. It shouldn't be happening in writing, but since it is, it should be easier, not as painful.
I'm not even close to getting through one letter.
I've gone from dear Newt to hi Newt to plain Newt and back, crossed everything out, started with there's something I have to tell you. I've stared at blank sheets of paper for minutes and drawn a bigger blank. There's just no painless way of doing this. No matter what I write, everything is going to fall apart.
Even trying to do the right thing, I'm going to hurt people.
The tip of my pen scrawls out an I'm sorry onto the next line, then I'm tapping the other end against my chin, rubbing my cheek until I've probably got ink all over my face, too. Sitting within reach is my phone, and I know I could use it. I should.
This shouldn't be so hard.
I'm not even close to getting through one letter.
I've gone from dear Newt to hi Newt to plain Newt and back, crossed everything out, started with there's something I have to tell you. I've stared at blank sheets of paper for minutes and drawn a bigger blank. There's just no painless way of doing this. No matter what I write, everything is going to fall apart.
Even trying to do the right thing, I'm going to hurt people.
The tip of my pen scrawls out an I'm sorry onto the next line, then I'm tapping the other end against my chin, rubbing my cheek until I've probably got ink all over my face, too. Sitting within reach is my phone, and I know I could use it. I should.
This shouldn't be so hard.