I don't want to hurt Kavinsky, but my fingers are digging into his shoulders like his fingers are digging into my arms. His muscles tense up under my hands. Somehow, this Kavinsky is the same guy who hummed songs and kissed us awake; we haven't landed in the other Darrow again. The smile twisting his lips is just bared teeth, wrong and painful when I've seen the way he smiles at Newt. Smiled.
I don't want to hurt Kavinsky, but I've got my hands fisted in his collar -- to do what? Drag him home with me? Sit him down in a corner until he comes to his senses?
I don't know what I was hoping to do, to hear. Not all this. Something that would fix the cracks in Newt's heart.
"He loves you," I say again, grinding it out, surprising myself with a burst of anger as I lock eyes with Kavinsky. "He still loves you. You're not a bomb -- you're an idiot. You're just like me."
Kavinsky doesn't know what that means, that it's the worst thing he could be. It's my turn to be honest with him.
"Yeah, I was uncomfortable, but it wasn't because of you. You were... I thought you were everything I wanted to be, for Newt." I loosen my grip. "I never wanted you gone."
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I don't want to hurt Kavinsky, but I've got my hands fisted in his collar -- to do what? Drag him home with me? Sit him down in a corner until he comes to his senses?
I don't know what I was hoping to do, to hear. Not all this. Something that would fix the cracks in Newt's heart.
"He loves you," I say again, grinding it out, surprising myself with a burst of anger as I lock eyes with Kavinsky. "He still loves you. You're not a bomb -- you're an idiot. You're just like me."
Kavinsky doesn't know what that means, that it's the worst thing he could be. It's my turn to be honest with him.
"Yeah, I was uncomfortable, but it wasn't because of you. You were... I thought you were everything I wanted to be, for Newt." I loosen my grip. "I never wanted you gone."